Don’t Go Changin’

I'm sure you have heard the Billy Joel song Just the Way You Are — if you haven't – watch this first.

Just the Way You Are

Treat this song as a baseline for any relationship.  I can't stress enough that you should always be yourself.  Nobody wants to be in a relationship with the fake you.  You don't want anyone to be fake either!  Right?  Right.  

If you find yourself in a relationship and you get any urge to hide something or fudge some details –  DON'T DO IT.  You start out with one little lie and pretty soon you are caught up in a massive web that you have created. 

Trust that the right person will love you just the way you are. 

If the person you are dating is asking you to change, DON'T DO IT.  Why?  Why should you?  You are perfect just the way you are.  If he doesn't like it — tell him to find someone else.  Because you aren't going to change.  You are going to be the fabulous YOU that YOU are!

So, don't go changin'


Fantasy Dating™ Game

Hey Fabulous Ladies!!!! — You know single guys don’t make house calls?  You know you have to get off the couch and get out into life?!  Well, now you can have even more fun getting out and about!  


I have found the COOLEST fun thing to do with your girlfriends!  Seriously people, this is genius!  It’s called the Fantasy Dating™ Game and you need to run, not walk, right on over and sign you and your best gals up!

I’ve been talking to Suzanne Casamento, the creator and founder of Fantasy Dating™ and she gave me the scoop.


Q:  What is Fantasy Dating?

A: Fantasy Dating™ is a revolutionary, new way to date! Just like any other Fantasy Sport, players join leagues, set stakes and compete for points – the difference is that you score them by dating.

For example, players earn 1 point when they exchange numbers, 2 when they get a text, 3 when they receive a call, 6 for a date and when your date contacts you to tell you what a great time they had, you get an extra point for the touchdown.

Q: How does Fantasy Dating work?

A: Fantasy Dating works by motivating players to put themselves "out there." Knowing your league mate is winning by 6 points will give you the guts to chat up the guy examining eggplant next to you in the produce section. In fact, when you Fantasy Date, you won't leave the store without giving him your number.

When women Fantasy Date, the game is on everywhere we go! So, whether we're in line at Starbucks, at the laundromat or at church, we're always ready to meet new people.

Q: What is the goal of Fantasy Dating?

A: The goal is to be proactive. The goal is to empower yourself and your girlfriends. The goal is to flirt. To conjure up the guts to ask a guy for his number. To actually go out on dates instead of making excuses to get out of them. The goal is to not sit on your couch every night addicted to TiVo, binging on ice cream sandwiches and wallowing about the fact that you're not married.

The goal is to do something about it and earn the most points along the way.

The ultimate goal, of course, is to drop out of the competition, because you find love.

Q: How did you come up with the idea?

A: One night, while out with some girlfriends, they kept saying things like, "All the good guys are married," and "It's so hard to meet good guys in LA."
I said, "It's really not that hard. You just have to introduce yourself and say, 'Hello.'"

They said, "We can't do that."

I pointed at a guy at the end of the bar and said, "Why don't you go say, 'hi' to that guy?"

My girlfriends shriveled in their chairs.

"Seriously?" I asked. "What if I dared you?"

And the light bulb went off. I had an "ah hah moment."  I realized I had an opportunity to dare women to date. And I began to write out the rules of the game.

That Summer, my girlfriends and I Fantasy Dated. Over a 10 week season, we went on more dates than we had in the previous two years!

Q: What if you don't have single friends to play with?

A: For all those single women, especially single moms, who live in communities filled with married people, is a bridge to the single world. All you have to do is sign up on

Say Emily in Texas doesn’t have a lot of local single girlfriends to compete against. She can join a virtual team. Women around the world can play against each other without ever actually meeting or leaving their hometowns.

Or, say Christine in Oregon doesn’t have a lot of girlfriends but would like to make some. She can enter her location into a search function at and find women in her area to meet with and compete against. 
That way, both women not only enhance their dating lives, but they make new friends. It's a win-win situation!

Does this not sound like a super blast?!?!?  What are you waiting for — get on over to and sign up!  It’s fun and it’s FREE!  You can’t afford to sit at home another night!

What Would You Change?

Here is a good exercise to de-clutter your life and get things moving in the right direction. 

Get out a piece of paper and a pen.  This is not a computer exercise. 

Make a list of the things in your life you would change.  Would you lose weight?  Eat healthier?  Sleep in on Saturdays?  Get out of a bad relationship?  Volunteer more?

Whatever these things are — write them down.  Read them aloud.  Ask yourself why you aren't changing these things.  Now realize that change is up to you.  There is no reason other than yourself that you cannot change your life. 

Start today!  Now next to each item, write down the steps you are going to take STARTING TODAY to change.  Want to lose weight?  Plan your next healthy meal now!  Go to the gym, take a walk.  You can do something today! 

This is your life!!!  Don't waste another second doing things you don't love or being in a situation that you don't want to be in.  I realize that all changes cannot magically happen in a day — but the first step can always be taken TODAY!

So tell me?  What is it that you are going to change today? 

Believe in Someone

It goes without saying that you need to believe in yourself.  It is the message I tell all the women I work with, all my friends, my family and my children.  But this time, I'm telling you to believe in someone else.


This struck me as I was watching one of Oprah's Life class lessons on Faith the two legged dog.  Watch it.  Tear-jerker for sure.  There was a section of this show that talked about the PUPPIES BEHIND BARS program.  And wow! 


I highly recommend you go here and check out their website and their story and support the cause.  The basic idea of the program is that puppies are selected to go to selected inmates who then train the puppies for a service man or woman who can use the dog to help them after they are back from serving our country.  It all sounds great.  It's a win win for everyone.  It truly is.  But what struck me the most about this program was the change in the inmate.  Now, say what you will about people behind bars…but I try to look at things from the beginning.  Take someone behind bars.  Let's go back and look at their life from being born.  More than likely that person was in an abusive situation, kicked around and not cared for.  So that abused baby grows up to be an abused and neglected toddler, then teenager and so on.  Tell me this, how can you expect someone that has been kicked around and abused to make good choices when there was NO ONE there to show them?  Or perhaps the awful things that happened to that person just shattered their spirit?  They make wrong choices, sometimes really, really bad wrong choices and end up in prison.  It is there they meet more people that have made wrong choices.  Nothing positive for them.  No love. 


Enter PUPPIES BEHIND BARS – now this person gets a chance to experience unconditional love from the puppy.  They learn to give love the puppy.  They see their efforts produce something positive that helps someone else.  All because someone believed in them.  The puppy believed in the inmate and trusted the inmate.  See the lives these puppies change.


So this got me thinking…every person wants someone to believe in them.  Everyone needs love and trust.  Look around and see if you can help someone believe in themselves.  Mentor a child.  Give your friend that extra nudge she needs to achieve her goals.  Tell someone, "you can do it!"


Take an opportunity every day to believe in someone.  You just don't know what kind of impact you make.  But I can tell you this — it will be POSITIVE!