The First question that has to be answered before anyone should walk down the aisle is — Can you live without this person?
If the answer is yes — then you should not be married. More often than not, people equate — we get along, we have things in common, they are a nice person, they would make a good husband/wife or mother/father, we are the same religion, we have been dating for x number of years….as the criteria for being married. This is not to say that the above are not important — but the most important question is — Can you live without this person?
Second most important question before you agree to get married — Do you have chemistry?
This may seem obvious or to some — lofty or dreamish – but ask any couple that is HAPPILY (and yes happily is the operative word) married for a long time and they will both answer the same way — no, I can't live without this person and yes we have chemistry! You can ask any good therapist — good chemistry and good sex can get you through some hard times. Let me tell you, it's nice when I can look at my husband and think — rrrrrrrrrrr – he's hot!
Third most important question prior to marriage – Do you have many similar interests?
You have to have things in common. You don't have to have EVERYTHING in common, just quite a bit of things. What else will you talk about? What will you do together? Of course you need to have your own hobbies too — but if you don't share many things together — you just won't have much to work with after kids and work take up the rest of your life.
Top 5 Tips For Enjoying the Single Life
1. Love Thyself and Count the Ways – Nobody can make you happy but yourself. So understand this first and foremost. You are awesome. Take a few minutes and write down your great qualities (good dancer, funny, great cook — you know!)
2. Get a Hobby – Always wanted to learn guitar? Wish you knew more about Italian cooking? Dying to surf? Now's the time! Without anything holding you back — make a commitment to do something for you. Who knows, you might meet a great friend or special someone on one of these activities!
3. Get Healthy – If you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you look good! Take and honest inventory of your physical and mental health. Can you stand to lose a few pounds? Tone up? Need to get rid of some skeletons in the closet. Take this time to get your entire life in shape! You will live longer and be ready to go when you meet that special someone.
4. What do you REALLY want? — Honestly. If you are just looking to get married because you are 35 and all of your friends are married — you are on the wrong path. Are you looking for a placeholder in a wedding album? A standard dinner date? Or something more? Make a list of the qualities you want in a partner. Tuck that list away. Go on and make a life for yourself and I promise — that special person will find you — because you are not looking!
5. Fake it Til Ya Make it! — Wake up everyday with a smile. Spin your positive. Make plans to go out often. Start checking off your bucket list. If you don't get out and start enjoying life RIGHT NOW – it will pass you by. Sure you may be sad you aren't coupled up — but that's not what life is about.
Enjoy life — you are healthy and you have today! Make it great!
So it's a new year! Hooray 2012!
The past is the past. You are moving forward with a new attitude and new ideas for fun! You are going to enjoy yourself and you will go on fun dates! Anything less than great won't work!
Here are some things you should adhere to for 2012!
1. Have FUN! Plan a little bit of fun in every day! Even if it's watching a funny You Tube video. Adding fun and laughter to your life will ensure you have a longer life. Plus, you are much more fun to be around!
2. Get OUT! Get out of your house every day. Seek out parks for nice walks, visit friends, get to the gym, meet for happy hour, stop for a coffee and people watch. You have to put yourself out there to meet people. No such thing as house calls for single girls.
3. New Skills! What have you always wanted to do? Paint? Cook? Ski? Learn Guitar? Now is the time! Find a class and sign up and before the end of the year — you will now know how to (paint, cook, ski, guitar – you get it!)
4. Work on Friendships! Friendship takes work. Are you pulling your weight. Make it a point to let those that are important to you in life know it! Schedule a phone call to catch up. Meet for lunch, coffee, happy hour, or dinner. Get your list out and start making plans!
5. Take Chances! Yep…you have to put yourself out there. It's scary – but boy does it feel good when you do and it pays off! Make it a point to say hi to someone new each week. Ask a question and start a conversation. Make it a goal and feel proud at the end of each month when you see how far you've come!
Just a few simple things you can add to your life that don't take that much time — but the rewards are great! Celebrate you! 2012 is the YEAR OF YOU! Get out there and enjoy life — hey — it's what you are living for!